8 deg.C. warm december. last saturday i walked on the beach - open sea was flat and silent. my bare feet on the sand. it was the day i’ve sold my burned car.
i’m becoming less and less, which is cool given the idea of leaving the country.
notes to self:
- describe how it was when the state of warfare was introduced in Poland, Decmber 1981
here’s the deal: since a week or so i’m seeing a billboard on my way work. the poster is one big reprint of an old, grainy, blurred photo, a frame shot during the pacification of coal mine Wujek in December 1981. it happened in the city i lived in back then. in the coalmine there were on the one side the special police forces called ‘zomo’, high on amphetamine and the striking miners were on the other side of the fence. Army vs desperate people. You can break it down.
So basically it is a photo of a guy caught by the camera while leaping in the front of a tank.
this view hits me each morning before i get to work. hm, i know this story and recalling all that shit inevitably i end pissed beyond average.
ok: we saw scary thing from teh window of the kitchen (the 8th floor of the block of flats). few fucking tanks rushing to the coalmine “wujek” to pacify the striking crew.
my grandmother told me and my little bro (i was 10, he was 3) to hide under the blankets, because there were rumours that the big statue of Lenin or some other motherfucker erected nearby is going to be blown up. the statue wasn’t blown up all in all, but 9 guys in the coalmine were killed, many others seriously injured.
it was the time of neat crisis when the food supply was so limited you had special tickets for every loaf of bread, every piece of margarine (forget about the butter), every sip of vodka, every cigarette. there were shortages of tickets and shortages of bread. shortages of coal, shortages of fuel. a winter in a poverty-striken nation. it was just 25 years ago. i’m an old fart.
yes, we’ve come a long way babe. (stormy laughs)
yea, ussr.
i fucking hate authority, i fucking hate russians, i fucking hate germans and french. yes, this is not very zen. i’m aspiring budda of chaos, but when it comes to geopolitics i am the hatebomb. why? because i’m an adult, unfortunate reprazent of Polish specie, and no wonder, miraculously - as many of you - able to reach the sources of information such as a book, the web and own memories and to base conclusions upon them. channel the anger.
yea, we know: memories are distorted by emotional bias, books are distorted by the propaganda (influence flowing from any side, be it commies, be it stuf paid for by the white house, be it euforia after false revolution, be it untasty feeling right now) and the web is just a big bouling soup of data.
so, regarding the subject - the russians is what i hate the most (Poles are right next to them in my hatequeue, stupid, vulgar mass, crawling around and redigesting own shit in search of the values nobody attaches any meaning to). yes. having said that i feel better. fucking stupid scumbags, they have been destroying the land where i was born (and which i want to leave right now), they killed our smartest people, they made redneckness and stupidity into the standard, they have made our leaders dimwit, not able to speak proper Polish, they praised lack of education, lack of morals, corruption. they did fuck with our history since, like… industrial revolution? they kept us divided, robbed, deceived, uneducated, poor and isolated. they killed our soldiers, they have invaded my country. death to the pigs! they have made Poland as stupid and brainless as they are. and Poland still does suffer from the past they have engineered. what they did to my country during ww2 and postwar 50 years is the damage of moral spin of the nation.
and russians today, where are they, fuckers? every junk in russia has this imperial longings, and is convinced about his superiority, claims Poland as another republic of fucking Soviet Union. i just fucking hate them all. it would be better world without them, uncivilized fuckers, carrions for the poverty and crime.
yes, this is hate-entry.
do you claim yourself Russian? go and fuck yourself.
were you unlucky enough to have your parents fucking each other on the territory of Russia and now you are stupid enough to feel as an heir of the past splendour? go figure.
do you claim yourself socialist? communist? are you into marks, lenin or engels? are you serious? go and fuck yourself, you stupid cunt, you know shit about the history and your seizured brain should have spend at least 10 years in any given communist country, standin in a jar on an empty shelf of a store where bread and industrial alcohol are being occasionally sold.
I really do love all the people.
Just notice how claiming nationality is yesterday.
Declare yourself 100% country free and I’ll share my last piece of bread with you.
we’ll read Dostojewski, Majakowski, Bulhakow. perhaps we’ll drink the bottle of Smirnoff together.
~~~
warm thanks to Fabien from Paris who gave me photo album of Alexander Rodtchenko which is full of wonderful pictures.
